In a column by Ellen Goodman in the Daily Record on Nov. 19, she stated that for the first time, genetics is the major reason for gay behavior. So far, this is good news, indicating we are past the infancy stage.
According to Goodman, a recent survey indicated that 42 percent of those polled said homosexuality is genetic whereas 37 percent said it is a result of upbringing.
Let's begin by exploring the genetic issue and consider the use of compassion. Here's what I mean: What person will go through the bashing, ridicule and harassment from the intolerant? Behaviors of this nature are often violent resulting in horrendous suffering and death.
What have gay people done so harmful to deserve this inhumane treatment? Rather than being scorned, why not applaud them for their courage and willingness to be genuine?
The 37 percent figure in the survey is a mystery to me. Does upbringing refer to how parents raised their children? Are some of these people not parents themselves?
How can a non-parent raise issues about parenting without any experience? It is like a Catholic priest giving advice to a struggling married couple!
For those parents who feel that way, please advise me as to the criteria used to formulate this perspective. In my own family, my mother was one of seven children, one of whom was gay and there are numerous examples of heterosexual children with a homosexual sibling. Unless a parent purposely raises a child toward a gay lifestyle, how fair is blaming parents, particularly when they have other children who are straight ?
Despite the many biases against women in our culture, the second point here is to briefly discuss the biases against males. Examples: Have you heard about gay bashing and violence against lesbians? Why can women dance with each other, but with men, the same behavior would be ridiculed? Would a woman wearing men's clothing be scrutinized and ridiculed to the same degree as a man in female clothing?
For my last point, Goodman failed to uncover what the remaining 41 percent feel.
In other surveys, some people feel the person chooses this orientation. In the case of men, this was obviously stated.
However, I feel that for some lesbians this is an act of choice. Here's why: As a single man who has met many women in social gatherings, many women have given up the idea that a relationship with a man is worthwhile. As men have been described by these women as insensitive and clueless, is it not entirely possible to choose the nurturing and caring demeanor that is more feminine than masculine?
If my perspective of choice here has any merit, then the challenges to both genders are numerous. For women, the challenge is to consider that not all men are unworthy and that bad people are not gender inclusive.
For men, the challenge is to begin waking up to see that many women do not want a man of machismo as much as a man who balances tenderness with toughness.
What does this perspective mean? On the bright side, we have made progress at looking at gay people as equals but not to the point of fully maturing. Here's one way to determine whether you reject, tolerate or accept gays as equals: You know your next door neighbor for 10 years. You have the utmost respect for his integrity and character. You then discover that he is gay. Will your feeling towards him change? If so, why?
