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My boyfriend went abroad with another man |
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John wrote: I just found out that my boyfriend went abroad to see another man. He told me he went with his family, but when his mother called me to get news of her son I found out that he did not go with them. He still has not returned back but is due back in a week. What should I do? Should i dump him right there or should I give him another chance?
Dr. Gay's Answer: My dear... this happens to us all, at least once in our lifetimes. It really comes down to how strong you are as an individual to deal with this face to face once he gets back home. The main question here is 'Do you still love him?' Could you find a way to forgive him this, and set new limits and boundaries that each of you can follow, or better yet go and get a couples therapy from a real doctor.
My gut feeling tells me that you should remain calm and don’t eat Diazepam like candy, just get on with your normal life and wait for him to return. If I where you I would first ask 'Can I hit you' --- and in his shame he will say yes. Slap him, just once and you got a whole lot of anger out just by doing that.
But obviously you need to talk and try to pinpoint what went wrong in your relationship. If things don’t get messy as they often do, then I would recommend some kind of treatment with a qualified professional.
With all my Love,
Dr. Gay
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