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My boyfriend is in the porn business |
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Dear Dr. Gay,
I am an 18 year old guy from Switzerland and I just got my first boyfriend last month. He is very kind but my friends tell me he is too old for me. He is 35 years old. His job is pornography and last week I went with him to the set to watch him film a scene in a new film his company is working on. It was very embarrassing and I saw a completely different side of him than I see in our private life. He was aggressive, talked down to the actors and was so rude… I was so upset that I walked off the set and haven’t called him since then. I am wondering if I was over reacting but I just can’t understand why he has to be so rude to those people, and I am especially surprised because in our relationship he has never shown any of these characteristics. Dear Alex, what is your comment on this, am I just a stupid 18 year old?
Yours,
Jan
Dear Jan,
First of all congratulations with your boyfriend and no he is not too old for you… if you feel comfortable with his age then your friends should not be able to shift your opinion about him. His job is quite interesting I have to say but hurray for you to go to the set, most gay men would kill to see a production being filmed of their favorite bed time stories J
I understand that you got upset at the set as you mentioned in the e-mail, but there might be a very just explanation to this all. Sometimes, people put on a different face for their work and some change drastically in their behavior… he might be the most sweet, gentle, loving guy you know but once he puts on his work uniform he might be a monster. I have had a few patients from the porn industry and they all share the story that the tension and pressure is great because productions need to be finished on time and performances must be flawless. Perhaps his change of mood was just temporary and nothing to worry about.
The main thing is, if you are happy in your relationship with this guy then keep it going; don’t let his work interfere with your life together. Call him.
Happy New Year,
Dr. Gay
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