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Dear Dr. Gay,
Hi, I have been seeing a guy for three months now, we have never had sex which we are ok with for now, but we both want to try oral sex. The only thing is that we are both not sure how safe it is, I am really looking forward to trying it. Can you give us any advice on this?
Marc from UK.
Dear Marc,
Thank you for writing to me. I've received many similar letters during the past few months, but what's interesting about yours is that you haven't tried it already. Most people just rush to it and think later, you on the other hand are doing it the right way.
Oral sex done responsibly is safe. With someone you don’t know using a condom is safe. If you play it safe licking your partners cock, putting it in your mouth or even a deep-throat won't hurt neither one of you. It is not very likely to get HIV trough unprotected oral sex, if there is no cum involved, but still possible. It is also easy to get all the old traditional STDs trough oral sex. Unprotected anal sex with is however very risky.
Before any sexual relationship begins, responsible people go to see a doctor and get their HIV tests among the other common sexual diseases tested for, before starting to have sex without condoms.
If you're afraid of going to the doctors office, consider driving an hour or so to the next towns clinic and get your test done there, that way nobody in your village (if you happen to live in one) knows about your test.
Oral sex can also be performed with condoms and you can enjoy licking his balls, abdomen, toes, fingers and basically his whole body with the magic of your tongue. Sometimes the best sex is the one without penetration, believe me, been there.
Once you get your tests results back, and you two come out clean and both of you are pretty sure the other one hasn't been screwing around with someone else in unprotected sex, you can skip condoms completely. However I recommend that you regularly have tests, just to be sure. Better be safe than sorry.
Once your relationship develops and you get ready for the ultimate gay sex experience, you might want to try anal sex. For a virgin ass, that can be a bit painful and hard to get "used" to but there are some pointers you can use to make it more enjoyable both for you and your partner.
1. Remember to use water based lubricants, do not use soap, massage oils or anything else than water based lubes. Oils and soaps can seriously burn your cock and your partner's asshole and it will most certainly rip apart any condom you are using because of the friction heat.
2. Clean your hole. Be sure to wash out any extra shit from your ass, never invite anybody to your front step unless the matt has been cleaned. The easiest way to do this might be to screw of your shower head and stick the end just inside your hole a bit and let the water flow until you feel like releasing. This can be done several times until it's clean. This way you will make your anal sex experience the best.
3. When taking a cock in your ass you apply the lube and in most cases it is most comfortable to get it inside by having your partner lie on the bed with his erected penis straight up. Sit slowly on his cock and do just like you would be doing nr. 2, but a bit more subtle. The first few strokes should be shallow and when you are comfortable you can take it all the way and do it faster as it gets more pleasurable.
Well my dear Marc, I perhaps over answered your e-mail but I sure hope I was able to shed some light of the wonders of gay sex. If you have any more questions for me or would like to share with us your first oral experience, I'm here and looking dearly for your reply.
Kind regards,
Dr. Gay
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