|
I'm approaching 40 and want to have a younger boyfriend |
|
Dear Dr. Gay,
I have been with my boyfriend now for 13 years. We started going out when we where 25 and now that we are both approaching 40 I have been looking at him differently. We are of course getting older but my problem is that I love him very much but I don’t fancy him at all, he is getting old and does not look sexy like he did when we first met. I have been thinking about ending our relationship because I really want to go for younger guys that appeal more to me sexually. However, I have a problem since I love him so much and we have a great life together, except for the sex part and I know breaking up with him will hurt a lot for the both of us.
Yours truly,
Confused
 Dear Confused, Getting older is a part of everyone’s life and you are no exception. Wanting to be with younger men is natural as humans want the best ‘breeding’ partner and we get more sexually aroused by younger people. However I don’t need to point out that since you are a gay couple breeding is not an issue, but I say this because our brain is just made that way. Younger individuals look for breeding partners that can provide for them and their offspring while older individuals look for younger more healthy partners to have healthier babies. Even though we are gay, this still applies to us. My advice though is that you have to think carefully before you sacrifice a long good standing relationship for some sexual excitement with a younger man. Have you thought about talking this over with your partner to see if he feels the same? Perhaps you can bring in a third guy that you two can play with once in a while or have an open relationship? Just remember to use protection if you decide to open up your relationship and go regularly to a health clinic to get a complete checkup, especially for hepatitis and HIV. I would really want to know how this goes so please e-mail me and we can continue talking about this privately over e-mail. Good luck,
Dr. Gay
|
